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Riso argues that traditional romanticism often promotes the idea of fusion—that two people must become one to be truly in love. He suggests that this pursuit of "total union" is a trap that leads to emotional slavery. When a person begins to live through their partner, they lose their own essence, turning the relationship into a parasitic bond rather than a partnership of two autonomous individuals. Love Without Attachment
A core pillar of Riso’s philosophy is the concept of . This does not mean loving with indifference, but rather loving without "possessing." Healthy Love: "I love you, but I can live without you."
In his book ¿ Enamorados o esclavizados? (Enamored or Enslaved?), psychologist explores the thin, often blurred line between healthy romantic love and emotional dependency. The central theme is a critique of the "romantic myths" that lead individuals to sacrifice their identity, dignity, and freedom in the name of love. The Illusion of "One Flesh"
Ultimately, ¿Enamorados o esclavizados? serves as a manifesto for . Riso concludes that the healthiest way to love is with one's "eyes wide open." By reclaiming the right to be an individual within a couple, one transforms love from a heavy chain into a shared journey. To love without being enslaved is to prioritize one's own mental health and dignity above the preservation of a relationship at any cost.
The essay highlights how emotional dependency manifests as a chronic fear of abandonment. This fear forces the "enslaved" partner to negotiate their non-negotiables: their values, their friendships, and their professional growth. Riso emphasizes that no love justifies self-destruction. If a relationship requires the surrender of self-respect or personal principles, it is no longer love; it is a "pathological attachment." Conclusion: Loving with Dignity
"I cannot live without you; you are my everything."
Riso posits that true freedom in love comes from the realization that while the partner is a source of joy, they are not the source of one’s existence. By eliminating the "need" for the other, the "desire" for the other becomes more authentic. The Cost of Slavery