Madeline Marks -

A good portion of our "resting" guests are now "eternally resting." It turns out pods are picky about staying powered. Who knew?

Solar Cycle 4,922 (or Tuesday, depending on which janitor you ask) Location: Somewhere past the Moon, currently drifting toward "Inexplicable Doom" Yeah, so things haven't exactly gone to plan. Again.

Still mostly metal, though the D&G wing recently decided to undergo a spontaneous thermal meltdown. madeline marks

When I signed up to captain the Oz 9 , I was promised a nice, long nap in a stasis pod and a "Terraform Now" button to press in twenty-five years. Instead, I’m wide awake, the coffee machine is judging my life choices, and we just passed Earth’s moon. You know, the big white rock from the childhood bedroom window? Yeah, seeing it up close is cool until you realize you weren't supposed to see it at all because you were meant to be unconscious .

The absolute highlight of the week? We accidentally hit the ship behind us with what can only be described as a "windshield-full of human goo." If there were a leaderboard for the biggest eff-ups in the fleet, I’d be winning. At least the Oz 9 made it past launch, which—given the state of the other ships—is practically a miracle. A good portion of our "resting" guests are

Captain’s Blog #8: Objects in Space are Exactly as Fragile as They Look

If you meant the Eating Disorder Registered Dietitian or the International Dating Expert , just let me know and I can pivot the style! Instead, I’m wide awake, the coffee machine is

On the bright side, the view from the port-side windows is stunning. It’s almost enough to make you forget that the life support system is making a sound like a dying harmonica.